DO NOT send me an invite to play some bubble popping game via social media. How does that even happen? You're my 'friend' right? We are supposed to spur each other on towards the greater good. We are supposed to push each other's lives towards meaning and fulfillment. How is this bubble game supposed to help? How is it that we are even friends? I fear that you have made a brutal misjudgement in inviting me to partake in such game with you and cannot help but feel violated in some way by you making an assumption that I would enjoy such... occupation. Did you give me due consideration when you clicked the 'invite' button next to my name? Did you envisage me arriving home from work, undoing the top buttons of my work shirt and heading straight for the laptop lying on the couch, logging onto facebook, checking the notifications, seeing your cordial invitation, and then thinking "Hell yeah! I'm going to pop me some bubbles! Line those colours up and watch me pop them! I'm going to score me some points and then broadcast my achievements to all of my friends!" Damn you for thinking such things! Also, damn you for perhaps not knowing me well enough to have the cheek to invite me and suggest such pointless endeavor.
But, oh no. Hang on. Maybe it's a cry for help. Is that what it is? You're desperate and in need but did not want to state it so plainly in words. This invite to join you on a bubble popping rampage is a cry for help. Why else would you be playing such a stupid game on facebook and racking up points for all the world to see. You're life is terrible. You're in a rut. There are things in life that you cannot face and popping bubbles for points serves as some sort of solace and distraction. Either that or your life is so mundane that popping bubbles has become the sort after highlight of your existance.
It's becoming clear now.
You have invited me to join you in such venture the way a self defeating drug addict shares his poison with a sober and well to do friend. You're asking for empathy. That's why you singled me out. You are asking me - a controlled, purposeful and glorious man - to make the ultimate gesture and lower myself to the same level of destruction so you will not feel alone. You will rope me in to playing this bubble bursting game and then you will proceed to destroy me with high scores that I will find unobtainable. My skills at pathetic unimportant pursuits will be inferior to yours and you will reign proud and victorious. A life of relative meaning.
Screw you.
I've been there you know. I've let my mind and time succumb to other pointless endeavors. I've turned friends into werewolves while other friends have turned friends into vampires. There was a war going on. Did you know? Were you part of it? I've seen friends occupy their lives by feeding fake animals and raising fake crops so they could afford to upgrade fake tractors. I've clicked buttons to see if my car beat another friend's car and all that dictated the result was a computer algorithm. It's a form of cancer, did you know? It's sucking us all dry.
Do something real.
Do something physical.
Get outside.
Burst some real bubbles.
Hunt some real vampires.
Start with your own.
P.S.
If you would like to join team Werewolf click here
