I look at myself suspiciously in the mirror sometimes and wonder who that person is. I like to think that I stand for something, that I have values and a moral code that I adhere to, principles and frameworks that I abide by and operate freely within but the truth is I am an evil and conniving bastard who is at times sick in the head and the only limitation to the destruction and misery that lies within my capable hands is the duration of my lifespan.
There is perhaps no point to this blog. I am seven hours in on a long haul flight and being extremely bored I have resorted to writing down my thoughts. I have also spent the last hour musing over some of my favourite Iron and Wine lyrics;
"Love is a crying baby mama warned you not to shake"
People will tell you that we were all created in the image of God but I don't think God has an image. I think for God to have an image would somehow be putting limitations on Himself. Maybe instead, all of creation is a concept of what God embodies. Never-ending breadth and depth perpetuating to infinity. And if we are supposed to be the crowning glory of everything that God has created then maybe it is we who are images of the invisible rather than vice-versa.
I'm sure God created us with good intentions and in the beginning everything was perfect, there was no pain and the original man was innocent. But good doesn't exist without evil and love doesn't exist without deceit. The Adam and Eve scenario is a story of God trying to keep two realms separate. We existed in a realm of goodness and innocence, whilst evil did exist it was kept separate from us enclosed in another realm. We were told not to explore this realm but it was something that we couldn't resist. Now with eyes opened there is no going back, both realms co-exist.
So when I look in the mirror I see beauty and I see pain. I see life and I see death. In many ways I see truth and I see a God who sympathizes. Wherever God is, whether metaphorically sitting on a golden throne brushing his beard, omnipotently floating around the universe, or embodying the teardrop that runs down your cheek I'm sure he hangs his head and mourns.
I ask myself questions when I look in the mirror.
Who am I?
What is love?
We're all innocent as long as we're forgiven.
We're all lion's that don't know how to control our own destructive strength.
Lion's Mane by Iron & Wine
Run like a race for family
When you hear like you're alone
The rusty gears of morning
And faceless, busy phones
We gladly run in circles
But the shape we meant to make is gone
Love is a tired symphony
You hum when you're awake
And love is a crying baby
Mama warned you not to shake
And love's the best sensation
Hiding in the lion's mane
So I'll clear the road, the gravel
And the thornbush in your path
That burns a scented oil
That I'll drip into your bath
The water's there to warm you
And the earth is warmer when you laugh
Love is the scene I render
When you catch me wide awake
And love is the dream you enter
Though I shake and shake and shake you
And love is the best endeavor
Waiting in the lion's mane
